


I'm yours

by CherryPie0



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Dancing, Feels, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Party, Pining, Sibling Incest, Valentine's Day, big brother Thor and his guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:42:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22759453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryPie0/pseuds/CherryPie0
Summary: "So, are you celebrating, tonight?" Loki asks him and Thor wants to laugh- or perhaps cry, because being in love with your little brother is definitely not something you celebrate."No, not celebrating. What about you?""I'm not sure. But I hope I know the answer by the end of the night."
Relationships: Loki/Thor, Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 304





	I'm yours

"What about this?" Loki asks, talking about the pair of black, tight, leather pants he has just put on - while Thor of course was not looking -, and turns around, letting Thor see.

Thor gulps past the lump in his throat, trying to keep his eyes away from his little brother ass, but it's really fucking hard. Loki looks sinfully good, making Thor want to touch him, feel the leather under his palms that are currently disgustingly sweaty.

He should probably have a talk with Darcy, Thor thinks to himself; ever since she and Loki have started hanging out, Loki comes home with new clothes that seem to have only one reason of existence: to drive Thor fucking crazy.

He ignores his thoughts, as he always does, giving Loki a nonchalant shrug. "It's nice," he says, his voice laced with fake indifference; he has practiced it enough during the last years that he even sounds convincing now.

Loki groans and shoots him a disappointed look; half glaring, half pouting. "Jeez, don't sound _that_ excited," he grumbles and before Thor manages to turn his head away, Loki starts taking the leather pants off, giving him a perfect view of the side of his round ass.

And, _Jesus_ , since when does Loki own underwear like this? Well, Thor supposes he can't exactly wear boxers with his - too tight - leather pants but this... this thing Loki's wearing is too small, not even covering his asscheeks-

Thor's head snaps away and he shuts his eyes closed, as well, just for good measure.

Loki has been trying to find what to wear for the party for half an hour now, unfortunately having asked Thor's opinion on the matter.

Thor hasn't relaxed since the moment he stepped into Loki's room, only growing even more tense when he sat on the edge of Loki's bed. Even this, seemingly, unimportant thing has his stomach twisting with guilt and shame.

He feels like he doesn't have the right to be in Loki's room, sitting on his _bed_ ; not when his thoughts about his little brother are anything but pure. Loki might trust him and feel safe around him, but he shouldn't.

He would have stopped wanting to have anything to do with Thor years ago, if he knew the truth, but thankfully he doesn't.

No matter how many times Thor has considered telling him the truth - certain that it'd make Loki stay away - he always decides against it, in the end. Loki might deserve to know the truth about what a monster his big brother is, but Thor is too much of a coward, too selfish to do that.

He's not exactly sure how, or when all this started. Sometimes he thinks this twisted, perverse desire of his has been there, inside him, forever and it simply took him some years to put a name on it.

He does remember, however, when what he thought to be an innocent, harmless, little started to turn into something uglier.

Ironically, it was also on Valentine's Day, just like today.

Loki was thirteen, back then, still a baby- to Thor's eyes at least. Even though, he supposes, Loki will always be his baby brother. Still, he was so incredibly young and sweet and innocent.

He had come back home from school with a huge grin on his face, telling their mom all about his day at school, especially about the cards all the students got and gave to each other for Valentine's day.

_"Did you buy a card for someone, darling?" their mom asks excitedly, focusing on Loki even as she prepares tonight’s dinner._

_"Mhm, I did!" Loki replies and at that Thor's head snaps away from his phone and towards his brother; he didn't know Loki liked someone. He thought Loki told him everything. "But I haven't given him the card, yet," he adds and there's a blush now spreading on his cheeks that makes Thor frown. It's pretty- too pretty, and Thor's insides twist with a new, ugly feeling at the fact that someone else is the cause of that beautiful blush._

_"Oh, but why not, honey?" Their mom asks now, her expression turning even softer._

_"Well..." Loki trails off and then he's suddenly running upstairs to his room quickly, coming back only seconds later, holding something in his hands, which he shoves against Thor's chest. "Here," he exclaims, face turning a bright red color, and he leans in to kiss Thor's cheek, giggling nervously as he waits for Thor's reaction._

_Thor looks at the card - red and heart shaped - and blinks, not quite sure what's happening._

_A loud, fond laugh comes from their mom and Loki turns to look at her, but Thor's eyes go immediately to his brother. "Loki, darling, did you buy the Valentine's card for Thor?"_

_Thor sees Loki nod his head, a sheepish grin forming on his cute face._

_"You're not supposed to give this to your siblings, honey-"_

_"I know, but Ms. Emily said that we should give the card to someone we love, so.." Loki says, shrugging his shoulders like that explains everything._

_Their mom seems to find it amusing for some reason because she laughs again, as if it's a mere joke, as if Thor's heart isn't pounding in his chest, as if Thor's mind isn't busy imagining taking his little brother on an actual date for Valentine's day._

Thor had been able to somehow control such thoughts for a while, but soon he grew up and so did Loki, and Thor's thoughts wandered off to dangerous territories. By the time Thor started his sophomore year in high school he knew he should have put an end to this long ago. It was already too late by then.

So, he kept his distance as much as he could without it seeming suspicious, and he decided to go to college three states away.

For two whole years Thor saw Loki only during summer and Christmas break, convinced that their time apart would be enough to get rid of his sick feelings, even if Loki ended up applying to a college in the same town as him.

He dated, or at least he tried to, until he realized it did nothing to help him get rid of his unwanted feelings; he was only forcing himself into it and it wasn't fair to the other people, either. So, then he decided to just fuck around, anything to take his mind off things he shouldn't be thinking.

For a while Thor was certain it was working, but then summer break came, and he went home and Loki had grown so beautiful, absolutely breathtaking, and Thor realized how stupid he was, thinking that he could find anyone that would match his little brother.

Loki ended up deciding to go to college in the same town as Thor, even if he had gotten accepted by better ones, and even though their parents weren't very happy with his decision, their mom was at least relieved that Loki wouldn't be alone, that he would have Thor.

As if Thor himself isn't a threat- the most dangerous of all, probably, because Loki _trusts_ him.

So, Thor has spent the last month alternating between being glad to have his little brother again and keeping his distance, his guilt being enough to keep him away.

"Okay, how is this? Too casual? Does it make me look like I'm still in high school? It does, doesn't it? I should change," Loki rants - in his defense it's only his second frat party - and Thor turns to look at him again now that he knows that the threat of seeing Loki in his tiny underwear is gone- for the moment at least.

Loki is wearing tight, black jeans and a _Led Zeppelin_ t-shirt that belonged to Thor but he outgrew it years ago. The t-shirt looks old, its black color having faded, looking almost grey now, which somehow suits Loki even better. Thor swallows with difficulty when he notices that Loki has tied a knot on it, leaving a sliver of his stomach completely exposed for Thor's hungry eyes to see.

It's definitely not the most revealing outfit he has tried on, but it still makes warmth spread through Thor's body, a pleased, sneaky feeling curling inside him just at the thought of Loki wearing something of his.

"You look great." Gorgeous, breathtaking, _mine_ , he wants to say, but he can't, so he doesn't.

Loki looks surprised, but smiles, apparently appreciating the fact that Thor showed a bit more enthusiasm.

If only he knew.

"Really? You like it?"

Thor nods. _I love it._ "Mhm, I think you should wear this."

Thor's heart swells with affection and pride when Loki ends up listening to him and doesn't change clothes for the hundredth time; Thor supposes some things never change. Even now that Loki is no longer a little child, it's obvious that he values his big brother’s opinion.

Now, Loki applies some eyeliner on his eyes, - impressively quickly, if Thor says so himself - and puts on a black and green plaid shirt as Thor grabs his denim jacket and they're finally ready to go.

"How do I look?" Loki asks one last time before they leave their apartment, standing right before Thor, eagerly waiting for a reply.

Thor lets his eyes travel over his little brother quickly, not letting himself enjoy this as much as he would like to, but even those couple of seconds are enough to make his heart beat faster.

"You look amazing," he says earnestly and almost reaches to Loki's face with his hand so he can brush a stray lock of black hair away from Loki's face, but he's quick to pull his hand back when he realizes what he was about to do; he hasn't allowed himself to touch Loki much lately. Even if it's simple, innocent touches, Thor believes it's better to avoid them. He doesn't deserve to be able to touch Loki so freely, anyway.

Loki notices it and slightly frowns at him, but thankfully doesn't say anything, only shooting him a grateful smile before heading to the door.

They decided to walk to the party since it's not that far and the weather is still warm enough.

Thor's breath hitches when Loki loops his arm around his, basically pressing himself against Thor's side as they walk.

It doesn't mean anything, of course, and the gesture is anything but inappropriate, but it still makes Thor tense, his heartbeat rising for no reason at all.

"So, are you celebrating, tonight?" Loki asks, startling Thor out of his thoughts.

"Uh- what, why?"

"Well, Valentine's day, Cupid, hearts, rainbows, being in love, and all that," Loki explains and Thor wants to laugh- or perhaps cry, because being in love with your little brother is definitely not something you celebrate. Ever.

He purposely ignores the fact that he knows he wouldn't change that, even if he could. Loving Loki might be hard and painful most of the times, but he can't really imagine living without it. It's a part of him now.

"No, not celebrating. What about you?"

As far as Thor knows, Loki is single, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like someone.

Thor isn't sure whether he wants to know that or not.

"I'm not sure. But I hope I know the answer by the end of the night."

"What does this mean? You're planning to hook up with someone at the party? I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that, but are you sure you wanna lose your virginity to a stranger at a frat house?" Thor forces himself to shut up after that, even though it's already too late, a new wave of self-loathing hitting him; this is none of his business. He can only justify so much while hiding behind his protective, big brother mask when this is jealousy talking more than anything else.

"Who said I'm a virgin?"

Thor almost stumbles and chokes on his own spit, his brain refusing to process Loki's words. "You... you're not? I thought..."

Loki chuckles and rubs his cheek against Thor's shoulder, seemingly oblivious to what's happening inside Thor's head right now. "I'm kidding, Thor. I've told you before: you'll be the first to know when I lose my virginity."

It helps Thor calm down a little, even though just knowing that it's going to happen - and probably soon - still has Thor wanting to do something crazy, like lock Loki in their apartment and keep him safe there and just for himself, even if it weren't in a sexual way.

He wants to ask what exactly Loki meant when he said that he hopes to know by the end of the night but they're approaching the frat house now and Loki changes the subject, asks if the others are already here and where they're supposed to find them, or if they're first to arrive- which is unlikely, considering that it took Loki almost an hour to decide what he'd wear. He teases Loki about it and Loki laughs and mutters a fond _shut up_ , bumping his hip against Thor's.

It makes Thor smile, despite himself and despite everything still being a complete mess inside his head.

His little brother has always been good at bringing a smile to his face, after all.

Thor leans against the wall, a bottle of beer in his hand, his eyes fixed on Loki who's been dancing with Darcy almost since they arrived at the party. He seems to be having fun, grinning and laughing as he and Darcy sing the lyrics of the song playing right now. Thor's lips twitch up in a fond smile and he takes a sip of his beer to hide it behind the bottle, even though he doubts anyone's even looking at him right now, anyway.

The others have scattered around the house somewhere, Thor has lost sight of them in the past hour or so, and Thor spent some time greeting people, before deciding to settle in his little corner, not really in the mood to interact with anyone, but still able to see the people - _Loki_ \- dancing from this spot.

He starts when Loki suddenly meets his eyes and Loki shoots him a big grin, before turning his gaze back to Darcy. He tried to convince Thor to join them earlier, but Thor knew better than to think that dancing with Loki was a good idea, so he refused, finding an excuse before Loki could insist and inevitably convince him in the end.

He feels a hand grab his forearm in a gentle hold and he reluctantly averts his gaze from his brother, turning to find a blonde girl looking at him expectantly. She smiles at him - she also says something that sounds like _hi_ , but she's not close enough for Thor to hear her - and motions towards the crowd of the dancing people in the middle of the room, slightly tugging at his wrist, urging him to follow her.

Thor is pretty sure they have a class together or something, but he might be wrong- not that it matters, anyway. He shakes his head 'no' and offers her an apologetic smile, which seems to disappoint her a little but she still winks at him playfully as she leaves.

"Well, now that was a stupid decision!"

Thor laughs at his friend, recognizing the voice immediately even through the loud music, and rolls his eyes, turning to look at Fandral who comes to stand beside him, holding two cups in his hands, offering the one to Thor who welcomes it; he has almost finished his beer, anyway. 

"Didn't expect to see you so soon," Thor teases, used to his friend disappearing during most parties.

Fandral shrugs, grimacing a little. "Turns out she has a boyfriend. Thought I'd be safer if I came to hang out here with you," he says, patting Thor's bicep, and Thor snorts, shaking his head in amusement. "What're you doing here all alone, anyway- oh, he seems to be having fun," Fandral says with a grin and motions towards the direction where Thor knows Loki is.

Thor hums and nods, his eyes inevitably finding their way back to Loki, his breath catching in his throat as he watches his little brother sway his hips, his t-shirt riding up as he raises his arms. He swallows, suddenly feeling his mouth dry, and takes a sip of his drink, telling himself that the warmth flooding inside him is solely because of the alcohol.

"Our little Loki has grown up, huh.." Fandral murmurs, his tone a bit suggestive, and Thor's head snaps at him, shooting him a sharp glare before he can school his expression. Fandral raises his hands in surrender, laughing. "Jeez, I'm kidding! I know he's off limits. I'm not crazy enough to go against overprotective big brother Thor," he says jokingly and Thor feels a sick twist in his stomach; he wishes that was the only reason he reacts like this to Fandral's - or anyone's, really - suggestions when it comes to Loki.

"I don't even want to imagine what you'll do to the poor guy when Loki gets a boyfriend or something," Fandral continues- and honestly Thor doesn't want to imagine this, either. He knows it'll happen sooner or later, but for now he's good with pretending that Loki will always be his sweet little brother and just that.

"Loki is an adult, he can do whatever he wants," he lies, not fooling anyone, and definitely not himself.

Fandral snorts and pats his shoulder, but thankfully doesn't call Thor out on his bullshit.

They talk a bit more before Fandral finds his next target and leaves again, but not before telling Thor he should get laid instead of sulking in a corner all alone. Thor ignores him, shooing him away.

He panics a little when he turns his attention back to the dancing crowd and realizes he has lost sight of Loki, immediately looking around the room to find him, only for Loki to appear right in front of him a second later.

"Hey!" Loki says, rather enthusiastically, and doesn't ask before grabbing the cup from Thor's hand, downing the rest of his drink, still grinning widely when he places the now empty cup on a table near them.

"If you're thirsty you should probably drink water, not vodka," Thor tells him and Loki rolls his eyes at him and mutters a _shut up_ that Thor doesn't actually hear, but understands it from the way Loki's lips move as he says it. It's simply because of the many times Loki has told him to shut up before; it has nothing to with the fact that Thor has spent a lot of time staring at his brother's lips.

"Are you having fun?" Thor asks, smiling when Loki nods his head. "Where's Darcy?"

"She needed a break, she said she's too old for this," Loki says and giggles, cheeks rounding around his broad smile.

He looks beautiful, somehow even more than when they left the apartment.

His baby hairs are sticking adorably to his sweaty forehead and his cheeks are beautifully flushed, his lips red and swollen as if they were kissed and bitten.

Thor forces himself to avert his gaze, before he does something stupid like cup Loki's cheek or nuzzle his face into the crook of his brother's neck.

"Hey, you okay? We can leave if you want, I don't mind," Loki says, looking quite concerned now- and _damn it_ , is Thor truly that transparent? He thought he was doing a great job not looking like he's sulking.

"Nah, I'm fine. Just a little tired, I guess," he says, giving Loki a reassuring smile. Like hell he will agree to them leaving so early, when his little brother is obviously having a good time.

Loki doesn't look convinced, but nods, and comes to stand right next to Thor, wrapping his arm around Thor's and resting his head against his shoulder.

"Are you wiping your sweat on my t-shirt?" Thor asks, not really upset or even just annoyed by it, and Loki giggles, looking up at him through dark eyelashes.

"Maybe," he says innocently and Thor laughs, resisting the urge to lean in and press a kiss on his little brother's forehead, like he used to do when they were children.

They just stand like that for a while and Thor relishes the warmth of Loki's body against his own, tries not to think about it too much.

He wonders if the guy Loki was waiting for didn't come and he's torn between feeling relieved and wanting to find the guy and have a talk with him. Who the fuck would stand Loki up? Thankfully, Loki doesn't really seem upset about it.

A gasping sound comes from Loki next to him and then his brother is tugging at his wrist excitedly, coming to stand in front of him.

"Thor! We should dance. Come on!" Loki says and Thor blinks in surprise, a frown forming on his face when he notices that the music has changed. People around the room are starting to slow dance now, obviously the romantic song meant for the couples, for the ones in love, celebrating today.

"Now?" Thor asks incredulously and Loki nods his head eagerly, lips curling into a cute pout.

"Please."

Thor sighs and lets Loki dragged him towards the crowd, already aware that this is a horrible idea.

But it's not like he could say no to Loki!

Once they have made their way to the middle of the room, Loki snakes his arms around his waist and Thor's wraps his own around Loki, welcoming his little brother's weight when Loki rests his head against his shoulder. They move slowly, gently swaying together to the music, and Thor lets his eyes flutter closed, allows himself to enjoy this.

He leans his head against Loki's, breathing in his familiar sweet scent, one of his hands unconsciously rubbing softly Loki's back. He draws a sharp breath when Loki tightens his arms around him, clinging to him like when he was a baby and they were inseparable.

🎵 _Listen close for I'm not smart  
You wrap your thoughts in works of art  
And they're hanging on  
The walls of my heart  
I may not have the softest touch  
I may not say the words as such_🎵

Thor's heart clenches at the words - he honestly seems to be unable to listen to any romantic song without thinking about Loki - and he nuzzles his face into his brother's hair, finding comfort in this right now; he'll always have his baby brother, even if it's not in the way he wishes he did.

🎵 _And though I may not look like much  
I'm yours_🎵

He hears Loki sing to the lyrics and it's almost too much, makes him want to simultaneously pull away and hold onto him forever.

He doesn't go anywhere - of course, he doesn't - and they dance like this to several songs, almost as if they have completely forgotten that there are people around them, that they're not alone, just the two of them in the room right now.

Thor tries to ignore the disappointment he feels when Loki starts to move away - all good things come to an end, right? - but Loki doesn't really go anywhere. He only pulls away just enough so they're looking at each other, their faces too close, dangerously so.

Thor would only need to tilt his head down just a little and his lips would find Loki's; if only it were that simple.

He feels scrutinized under Loki's intense gaze and it makes him want to look away, afraid that Loki will be able to see right through him and learn his secrets and then he'll know what kind of brother Thor really is.

But Thor doesn't avert his gaze- he couldn't even if he tried, not when Loki is looking at him like this. It's almost as if Thor can see the longing he is feeling in Loki's expression, and his heart almost stops for a moment at the mere possibility that Loki might feel the same way he does.

But even then, nothing would be solved, would it?

Because they're still brothers, nothing will ever change that, and Thor is supposed to be protecting and taking care of his little brother, not depraving him.

He swallows down a sigh, hoping that his disappointment isn't written all over his face. He leans in and presses a soft kiss on Loki's forehead before he can stop himself, bringing a little smile to his brother's lips.

"Why do you keep doing this, Thor?" Loki asks; he sounds tired, a bit desperate even, and he's obviously not referring to the forehead kiss.

"What?"

Loki looks at him with sad eyes, but doesn't reply, resuming his position from before, leaning his head on Thor's shoulder.

Thor doesn't know what Loki was talking about but he would gladly stop whatever it was, if it meant it'd make Loki happy. He contemplates asking Loki what this was about but before he can decide the music changes and all the couples around them begin breaking apart as a pop song starts playing.

"Don't leave," Loki tells him when they pull away, but Thor smiles at him apologetically, knowing that he won't be able to handle any more of this. Especially now that the music changed again; he's seen how Loki dances and sways his hips and he's sure he shouldn't be anywhere near that right now.

He goes to his corner, where it feels safer right now, - Loki finds Darcy again - and mostly sulks there for the rest of the party, trying to be friendly and cheerful and chat with anyone that notices him and comes to greet him.

He usually has fun and enjoys parties, but tonight the aching inside him is almost overwhelming; perhaps it's because of the stupid day. Today, you're supposed to be celebrating your love, not hiding it because it's sick and wrong and shouldn't exist in the first place.

He kind of just wants to go home, curl in his bed and cry himself to sleep. The alcohol definitely doesn't help, either, even though he's barely even dizzy right now.

It's about an hour later when Loki finally comes to tell him he wants to go home - Thor suspects Loki wouldn't mind staying a bit longer and that he's doing it for him, but when Thor asks him about it, the little liar refuses it – and so they bid their friends goodbye, at least the ones they can find, before heading outside.

It's a bit chilly now and Thor is about to put his jacket on, but then he notices Loki rubbing his arms and pulling his shirt tighter around him, and well, it's not really a hard decision.

"Here," he says as he wraps his jacket around Loki's shoulders, smiling at his brother when he turns to look at him.

"It's okay, Thor, I'm not even cold-" Thor fixes him with an unimpressed look and Loki grins sheepishly, slightly shrugging. "Thank you," he says and surprises Thor by slipping his arm around his waist, nestling himself under Thor's arm, basically forcing Thor to wrap it around Loki's shoulders- well, unless he wants this to be awkward for no good reason.

It feels unfairly good to walk like this, with Loki so close to him, holding him, feeling Loki's head lean on him and rest against his chest. And it's not simply that this is nice; it's that it feels _right_. Like this is how it's supposed to be.

They reach their apartment way faster than Thor would like, even though they were walking rather slowly, like they both wanted to prolong this.

Thor heads to the kitchen when they step in their apartment, planning to get some water and then go to his room, change clothes and collapse in his bed, not expecting Loki to follow him.

"Did you have fun, tonight? You don't look very well," Loki says, leaning his hip against the kitchen counter, a slight frown having formed between his eyebrows and Thor hates that he's the reason for his little brother's worry.

"I'm okay, Lo. Just wanna sleep, that's all," he says and does his best to smile, even though he's certain it looks more like a grimace than anything else. He's just... _so_ tired. He thought these feelings would have been gone by now; he doesn't know for how much longer he can keep fighting them.

"Brother..." Loki says in a smaller voice now, not looking very convinced by Thor's excuses. "I really hate seeing you like this, Thor. I wish you would just talk to me."

Thor wishes it were that easy.

"Aw, is my sweet, little brother worried about me?" he asks teasingly, hoping that it'll lighten the mood and distract Loki, but it's obvious that Loki is quite determined to talk about this.

"I'm being serious, Thor," Loki insists, now shuffling closer to him. "I know you, I can tell that you're not okay."

"I'm _fine_ -"

"Thor," Loki says calmly, stopping him, and he's now standing right in front of him, in arm's reach. "I'm gonna do something now, okay? I think... I think it'll be alright, but in case that it isn't... in case I'm wrong about this, please- _please_ don't hate me," Loki says, sounding genuinely scared now, and Thor can't help but wonder what could possibly make him hate Loki; he's sure nothing could ever do that.

He’s about to say so, but then Loki is leaning in and Thor has almost no time to process what is happening before his brother's lips press against his own in a gentle, hesitant kiss.

It only lasts a few seconds but it's still long enough to have Thor's brain spiraling, feeling as if it's about to fucking explode with all the thoughts and emotions rushing through Thor right now.

He doesn't understand what's happening, why would Loki do this? It can't be a joke; Loki likes his little pranks, but he would never be so cruel, so what was the reason of this?

Oh.

All the talk about Thor not being okay... Thor should have probably seen this coming.

Loki has obviously found out about Thor's feelings - he's smart and Thor has never been good at lying - and he thinks that this would help, that this would make Thor feel better.

Thor feels sick in his stomach that Loki had to do this for him and he pushes him away by the shoulders, a deep frown forming on his face as he tries to process everything.

"...Loki?"

He tries to appear completely unaffected by the kiss, does his best to not think about how amazing it felt to have Loki's soft, little lips against his own, even for a few seconds. He can probably still deny everything, can say it's just a misunderstanding, that whatever Loki thinks is wrong.

Loki blinks up at him, looking confused, before realization seems to hit him. "Oh... You- you didn't want that... I thought..." his voice is shaking and he looks terrified, green beautiful eyes widening and filling with unshed tears. Thor was not expecting this reaction and it takes him a few moments to understand what exactly is happening and finally realize that he's the biggest fucking idiot in the world. All he ever wanted was to not hurt Loki, and now here he is, almost making him cry. "I- I'm sorry, I didn't.."

Thor is quick to wrap Loki in an embrace, holding him tight against his chest, his heart beating like crazy in his chest. "Nonono, I'm a fool, brother, I'm a fucking fool," he says, hoping that it's not too late, that this time he got it right, that he won't make this even worse. "I want this, Lo. I want this so fucking much, baby, you have no idea," he whispers, breathing heavily, his desperation clear in his voice.

Loki lets out relieved sigh and sags against him and into his arms, letting Thor hold him, nestling his head under Thor's chin.

"You really do?" Loki asks him, voice coming out muffled as his face is still pressed to the crook of Thor's neck.

"Yes, Lo. I- I've wanted this- _you_ , for so long."

Relief washes over him as he finally lets himself say those words out loud, feeling as if a burden was lifted off his shoulders, his heart feeling lighter than it has been in years.

He's reluctant to let go of Loki but he loosens his hold around him when Loki pulls away.

"Then prove it," Loki tells him and his voice is firm but his expression is pleading, a few tears having managed to escape the corners of his eyes, still slowly rolling down his flushed cheeks.

Thor knows what Loki is asking him to do, but he's still hesitant, still afraid that Loki doesn't actually want this, still thinking that perhaps they shouldn't do this, even if they both want it. Maybe Loki just has an innocent little crush on him and it'll pass soon; he'll get over it and find someone to love that isn't his own brother.

The thought makes Thor's stomach clench painfully, hating even the mere idea of it, even more than he hated it before he knew this is an actual possibility.

He cradles Loki's face in his hands and gently wipes the few tears, looking at his pretty little brother, his heart aching with how much he loves him. "Are you sure you want this, Lo? I... I won't be mad if you changed your mind, it's okay," he says and smiles reassuringly at Loki. As much as Thor wants this, he would rather keep suffering for the rest of his life than do something that Loki would regret afterwards.

"I want this, brother. Please."

Loki sounds certain and his eyes are silently begging for Thor to finally give in, to stop holding back, and Thor feels the last thread of his self-control snap.

Still cupping Loki's face in his hands, he pulls his little brother closer and brings their lips together, letting out a muffled whimper at how good it feels to finally have what he's been craving for years. Loki wraps his arms around him, fingers curling into the fabric of Thor's t-shirt, holding onto him for dear life.

If Loki is afraid that Thor might leave, then Thor will happily show him that there's no way this will ever happen. He knows now that these feelings were never going to go away, even more now that he got a taste, now that he knows how his brother's lips feel against his own.

He knows it'll never be the same after tonight.

Thor starts to pull away, wanting to ask Loki if this is alright, if it's too much, but Loki whines and clings to him tighter, not allowing them to break apart. Thor is happy to obey Loki's obvious demand and keeps kissing him, one of his hands drifting lower to hold the side of Loki's neck, the other one finding its way to the small of Loki's back.

He draws Loki closer to him, their bodies flush together, and deepens the kiss when Loki gasps against his lips.

He feels dizzy as he delves his tongue inside his baby brother's mouth, another wave of arousal rushing through him when Loki moans eagerly, sucking onto his tongue. Thor has always thought that if this ever happened their first kiss would be slow and tender and affectionate, imagined himself softly kissing every inch of his brother's body, showing him how cherished and desired he is, holding him and telling him how much he loves him.

But right now, this seems impossible.

Thor is burning with the need to touch Loki everywhere, to be as close to him as possible, to be inside him, to feel his body clench around his cock, to make him moan and cry out his name.

He feels his dick desperately throbbing inside his boxers as he licks into Loki's mouth, tasting him, exploring, wanting to know how his brother likes to be kissed, to be touched.

His hand slips beneath Loki's shirt and t-shirt of its own accord and he feels himself tremble as he finally touches warm, bare skin, swallowing down Loki's whimper, feeling goosebumps rise on his brother's flesh. He gasps and is forced to break the kiss in order to take a breath when Loki rocks his hips forward, causing their erections to rub together through their jeans.

"Bed. Please," Loki says, looking at Thor with dark, green eyes and kiss-swollen, red lips, cheeks prettily flushed with arousal, and Thor is certain he has never seen anything even nearly as beautiful as his little brother right now.

Thor kisses him again just because he can and he wants to, and grabs Loki's thighs to lift him up, their lips still attached together. Loki wraps his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck, still trying to grind against Thor, as demanding and impatient as ever.

A fond smile makes its way to Thor's lips as they break the kiss and his heart feels too big for his own chest, swelling with love and adoration, all for his baby brother- _always_ for his baby brother. 

"Thor, come on," Loki reminds him and Thor nods his head immediately, before finally heading to his own room, lowering Loki onto his bed once they're there, slow and careful, even as his patience is wearing thin; he has been waiting for _years_ , after all.

Loki is already shrugging his shirt off, his t-shirt following right after, pausing when he realizes that Thor is still fully clothed, simply looking at him.

"Thor?" He asks hesitantly, his eyebrows drawn together in a worried frown.

"Are you sure about this, Lo? If- if we do this and you change your mind afterwards, I don't think I'll be able to handle it. I can't... I can't go back to how it was, not after this," he says, closing his eyes to brace himself for Loki's reply. It's already too late to go back now, but perhaps they're not completely doomed yet.

He starts when he feels gentle hands cup his face and he opens his eyes to see Loki sitting close to him, right before him, a soft expression on his face.

"Thor, I want this. I promise. I won't regret this; not tomorrow, not in a week, or in ten years, for that matter. I don't think anything will ever change how I feel about you. It's not... it's not just a silly crush or whatever. I'm not a kid, Thor, I know what I want," Loki tells him and leans to press a kiss on Thor's lips, just a soft brush of lips that still manages to ignite sparks within Thor, who's helpless as always when it comes to Loki. "Please," Loki adds as he pulls away and Thor nods his head, his voice thick with emotions and arousal as he speaks.

"Okay," he says, can't even imagine denying Loki now, "okay."

Loki smiles at him and reaches for the hem of Thor's t-shirt, helping him take it off, probably tired of waiting; Thor can't blame him. They unbutton each other's jeans next, shifting so they can pull them off completely, before doing the same with their underwear. Thor would like to admire Loki in that little thing he was wearing, since he didn't allow himself to do that earlier tonight, but he supposes that can wait for another time.

Loki shuffles farther up on the bed and lies down, looking a bit uncertain now, hands fidgeting, his legs twitching as if he doesn't know whether he should spread them open or keep them close together.

Loki hasn't done this before, Thor reminds himself, and the - not so sudden - urge to take care of his little brother, to make this good for him, almost overwhelms Thor.

He moves closer and brings his hands to Loki's thighs, stroking the smooth skin, smiling at his brother reassuringly. Loki's legs fall slowly apart, letting Thor settle between then, and Thor's hands move higher, running over Loki's hips and sides, relishing how Loki's breaths come out in soft gasps, how his body arches off the bed and towards his touch.

"Gods, Loki, you're beautiful. _So_ lovely," he says, feeling breathless just from being able to touch his brother in such an intimate way, something he never dared to imagine actually having. Loki moans softly and squirms impatiently on the sheets, his cock hard and resting against his stomach, pretty like the rest of him.

"Brother, come on," Loki urges, his chest heaving, looking quite affected even though Thor only barely started touching him. "You have lube, right? I don't wanna wait any longer."

Thor nods and reaches to grab the tube of lube from the first drawer of his nightstand, applying some of it on his fingers, but he hesitates again. "Are you sure about this, Lo? We don't have to-"

" _Thor!_ " Loki glares at him and kicks Thor's side with his foot, eliciting a laugh from Thor that's quick to die in his throat when Loki continues talking. "I want you to _fuck_ me and, yes, I'm fucking sure about this. I've been thinking about it for years," Loki tells him and Thor's cock twitches excitedly at the words, even though it's still slightly strange to hear his little brother talk like this, demanding to be fucked. Not that it does anything to stop all of Thor's blood from rushing south to his groin.

His hands are trembling as he reaches between Loki's thighs, his breath hitching when his fingers brush over the puckered, little hole. Loki's rim twitches at the touch and a little whimper escapes Loki, his legs parting farther apart invitingly.

Thor's brain is still having a hard time processing what is happening right now, a part of him thinking that this is all a dream and he'll weak up soon.

But Loki moans again and his chest is rising and falling quickly with every breath, his skin warm and soft under Thor's hands, everything sounding and feeling too real to be just another dream.

"Brother," Loki gasps, as Thor starts easing a digit inside him, and Thor pauses again, afraid that he might be hurting him. "Hurry the fuck up, Thor!"

A startled laugh escapes Thor and he grins, some of his nervousness fading away.

"Just tell me if it hurts, okay?"

Loki rolls his eyes at that, still managing to be a little brat even with his legs spread wide open and a finger buried up his ass. "I'm not that fragile, Thor. You won't break me. Besides, I- I've fingered myself before, I can take it."

Thor has spent years imagining his little brother pleasuring himself in such a way, but now that he actually heard Loki confirming it, it's almost too much for his already hardly functioning brain. "You have?"

Loki nods and bites his lower lip, looking almost coy now.

"Did- did you...while you were- I mean... _fuck_ ," Thor mutters, cursing himself for feeling so excited and nervous, not able to appear more composed. He was much more in control in his fantasies; he wasn't expecting that this would be so intense. He hasn't been this nervous about sex even when he lost his virginity.

"Did I think about you while I fucked myself with my fingers?" Loki completes the sentence for him and Thor can only nod his head, his cock achingly hard and leaking against his hip. "I did. I always think about you when- when I touch myself."

Thor exhales shakily, the hand gripping Loki's thigh instinctively tightening its hold, fingers digging into the meat of it.

Even in his wildest fantasies he never allowed himself to imagine Loki so... _eager_ , so needy. But of course his wonderful little brother would meet his expectations and exceed them.

"Fuck, Loki," he rasps and does his best to ignore his hard cock for now, focusing on opening Loki up, working the finger in and out of him at a steady, efficient pace.

It's not long before Loki pleads for _more_ and Thor adds a second finger, and then a third one, his eyes greedily traveling over his brother's body, taking everything in. Loki's flush has spread down his neck and chest and Thor can't resist reaching to toy with his cute, little nipples, tugging at them and eliciting sweet whimpers from him, watching Loki's cock twitch and leak with every stroke of his fingers inside him.

With how aroused they both seem to be, Thor doubts they'll last long; he's honestly quite impressed with himself that he hasn't come yet. It's not easy, with Loki shaking and clenching around his fingers, letting out lustful, needy moans, sounds that Thor didn't even know his brother could make.

"I'm ready. Thor, I'm ready, come on," Loki says breathlessly, already tugging at Thor's wrist, urging him to obviously hurry up.

"Ar-"

"Do _not_ ask me again if I'm sure, Thor, or I swear to God-"

"Sorry sorry," Thor says immediately, looking at him sheepishly. "I'm trying, okay? You're still my baby brother, I don't wanna hurt you. I want this to be good for you."

Loki lets out a fond, breathless chuckle, reaching to pull Thor closer by the shoulders, and Thor is happy to go to him, lets his brother connect their lips together. He blindly searches for the lube around the bed as they kiss, not willing to pull away, or wait any longer.

He manages to pour some lube on his hand and he strokes his cock, applying it all over his length, before finally guiding himself to Loki's entrance. They both whine against each other's mouth when the blunt head nudges Loki's rim, and Thor starts pushes in slowly, his breathing growing heavier as Loki's body gives way to him, welcoming him inside.

"Okay?" He whispers as he slides all the way in and Loki nods his head, his fingers digging into the muscles of Thor's shoulders. "Almost there," Thor tells him and smiles reassuringly, leaning in to kiss Loki's lips, and cheeks, then the tip of his nose, his forehead, his close eyelids, trying to distract both Loki and himself as his cock is being completely engulfed in that tight, slick heat.

"Fuck," Loki breathes out once Thor is fully buried inside him and he wraps his legs around Thor's waist, drawing him closer, hugging him.

Thor lowers himself on his elbows and gently brushes Loki's hair away from his face, smiling softly at his little brother, willing himself to relax and give Loki some time to adjust.

"You're doing so well, Lo. That's it, breathe. You're amazing, so amazing... Absolutely perfect," Thor mumbles, nuzzles his cheek against Loki's, and Loki whimpers quietly, taking deep breaths just like Thor instructed him to.

"I'm okay," Loki says after a while, giving Thor permission to start moving, and Thor lets out a relieved sigh as he begins to rock his hips, his pace slow and definitely not what he needs right now, but it's still more than nothing.

One of his hands goes to Loki's thigh, pulling his legs higher around his waist, allowing himself to go even deeper inside his brother when he slides in again. Loki's hole clenches around him and Thor groans, feeling his muscles burn and ache as he does his best to hold back, to not start pounding into Loki like he wants to.

"Thor," Loki gasps and Thor blinks a few times to clear his head as much as he can, only now realizing that his grip on Loki's thigh has grown tight- _too_ tight. He'll be surprised if the creamy skin is not bruised by tomorrow.

"Sorry," he pants, breaths coming out in short puffs, and he squeezes his eyes shut, trying to regain some of his self-control. "Sorry."

"You don't have to hold back, brother. You- you've been holding back for years, haven't you? You can let go now... I want you to," Loki says, his usually smooth voice sounding rougher with arousal, making Thor throb inside him. "Thor, please. Please, _fuck_ me."

Thor can only groan and oblige, unable to resist any longer; not when Loki is begging so beautifully, demanding that Thor let go and finally fuck him.

He pulls out and this time thrusts inside Loki hard, drawing a loud moan from him, his sounds growing more desperate as Thor increases the pace of his movements. He fucks into him mercilessly, encouraged by the sweet whines Loki lets out, delivering one unforgiving thrust after the other, feeling the pressure of his groin already increasing with his impending orgasm.

Loki's hole is still incredibly tight around him, clinging to him every time he pulls out, but welcoming him inside when he thrusts back in, as if Loki's body has already grown familiar with Thor's, aware that this is how it's supposed to be.

"My sweet, little brother," Thor grunts, sloppily sucking bruises on Loki's throat, both hearing it and feeling it every time Loki moans. "God, you’re perfect. I love you so much, Lo. So fucking much."

Loki's only reply is a needy mewl and a desperate _'brother'_ coming out of his mouth, lips beautifully parted around his moans.

"You close?" Thor asks through his panting and Loki nods immediately, his legs tightening around Thor's waist, body tensing.

Thor redoubles his efforts and fucks into him more purposefully, continuing to aim for that magic little spot inside Loki that has his brother trembling underneath him. He ruts into him with years of pent-up longing and love and desire, the headboard of his bed hitting violently the wall with every forceful thrust.

It feels too good and Thor wants it to last, just a little more, but he knows he can't hold back much longer, his balls already drawing up, ready to explode.

"Lo, baby... fuck, so good, brother," he groans and slips a hand between them, only barely managing to grip Loki's cock before he feels his brother twitch in his hold as he comes, body arching upwards and hole clenching impossibly tight around him, a broken cry of Thor's name falling from Loki's lips as he rides out the waves of his pleasure.

Just hearing his name in Loki's deliciously wrecked voice is enough to send Thor over the edge as well, and he slams his hips one last time, burying himself inside Loki to the hilt before starting spilling, panting and groaning against Loki's neck as he empties his load inside his brother's eager hole.

He's still breathing heavily several moments later, his softening cock still engulfed inside Loki's heat, warm cum slowly trickling out of Loki's hole. Thor is certain he has never felt so content, so sated in his whole life.

It's like a piece of him was missing all these years and he has finally found it.

"-or. _Thor_. Brother, are you listening?"

Thor hums lazily and shifts a little, his eyes flying open when he realizes he has collapsed on top of Loki.

"Shit. Sorry," he mumbles, feeling himself flushing with embarrassment, and moves to lie beside his brother, instead of on top of him.

"Being crushed by you wouldn't be the worst way to go, but I'd really hate to die before we do this again," Loki murmurs and snuggles closer to him, eliciting a chuckle from Thor, who's quick to welcome his little brother in his arms. Thor draws him close to him, until Loki's half lying on him, and nuzzles his cheek against the top of Loki's head, sighing in contentment.

They're silent for a while and Thor just revels in the comforting silence and the warmth of Loki's body pressed against his own, absently running his hand up and down Loki's back.

"See? I told you you'd be the first to know when I lose my virginity," Loki tells him and Thor snorts, realizing just how true Loki's statement was. The little shit knew.

"So... you really wanna do this?" Thor asks, because he _has_ to know that they're on the same page, that he's not alone in this.

"I do."

"It- it won't be easy," Thor says, because he's a fucking fool and has to make this harder; as if he tries to convince Loki to change his mind about this, to make him see that this is a bad idea. He doesn't want that, of course; that's the last thing he wants.

What he wants is to be able to hold and kiss and fuck Loki, to call him baby and lie with him naked, just like they are now. Perhaps to even go on dates with him, if Loki would like that.

Still, he knows this is a horrible idea, and his big brother instincts are screaming at him to protect Loki, to give him an out now that it's still the beginning of this- even if, in reality, it's already too late.

Loki shifts on his belly so he can prop his chin on Thor's chest, his lips curled into an amused, little smile. "If you expect me to change my mind after what just happened, brother, you're an even bigger fool than I thought."

Thor laughs, grinning, relishing how familiar this right now feels, even if it's completely different than all the times they joked and laughed before.

"Okay, but joking aside, I know what I'm getting myself into, Thor. You're not the only one that has been thinking about this. I _know_ and I _want_ this. I want _you_. I was yours before I even knew what this truly meant... I've always been yours, Thor. Nothing can change that," Loki says, voice firm and steady, green eyes shining determinedly, daring Thor to question him again.

"Then I guess we're actually doing this," Thor says, both to Loki and himself, the words still sounding unreal to his own ears.

Loki smiles at him softly, leaning in to peck his lips. "Happy Valentine's day, brother," he murmurs against his mouth, delicate fingers caressing Thor's beard, making him melt into the touch.

Thor kisses Loki's smile, his own lips spreading on a board grin. He feels giddy and his heart is fluttering excitedly in his chest and _God_ , he loves Loki so fucking much it hurts- but in the best fucking way. He hugs Loki tight against his chest, letting out a content sigh.

"Happy Valentine's day, Lo."

**Author's Note:**

> The song Thor and Loki were dancing to:  
> [I'm Yours - The Script](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRczDxm5oJk). 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this!! Thank you so much for reading! Feedback is always greatly appreciated❤️❤️❤️


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